ZicklePop

There shall be no intercourse! (It would be really embarrassing if she screwed up trying to say she wouldn’t screw up.)

There shall be no intercourse!

(It would be really embarrassing if she screwed up trying to say she wouldn’t screw up.)

jayfrosting:

Jay Frosting reads Us Weekly so you don’t have to. Cover story: You Call This Fat? w/ Kim Kardashian

I get a shout out at the very end of this episode!

There is a spray paint dot on every corner in San Francisco. Why?

There is a spray paint dot on every corner in San Francisco. Why?

  • Flying Dutchman: So, you wanna tie knots, do ya? Well, do ya?
  • Spongebob: Yes, please, Mr Flying Dutchman, sir.
  • Flying Dutchman: Then you've come to the right flying ghost, kid. You're looking at the first place winner in the fancy knottin' contest for the last 3,000 years!
  • Spongebob: Hooray! (floats up into the air and into a heart)
  • Flying Dutchman: (grabs Spongebob) You're gonna have to not do that. And stop staring at me with them big old eyes! (Spongebob's eyes shrink) Now, stand back and watch me be knotty. (laughs and pulls out a rope) Haha! Behold! (rope is in pretzel shape) The pretzel knot!
  • Spongebob: Ohh. (Flying Dutchman makes the rope into 2 diamonds)
  • Flying Dutchman: The double-diamond knot! (holds the rope, now in the shape of a square, in front of Spongebob) The square knot! (rope slithers over and squeezes Spongebob) The constrictor. (Grabs Spongebob and pulls him apart revealing a knot that looks like intestines) The gut knot! (Flying Dutchman makes a knot in the shape of a pillow) The pillow knot. (turns the knot over where Spongebob is sleeping. Then he makes the knot into a butterfly) The butterfly knot.
  • Spongebob: Ohh...
  • Flying Dutchman: Wait! There's more. (Spongebob takes out a pen and paper and his glasses) The monkey chain! (shows the rope as a chain) The monkey's fist! (shows the rope into a ball) The monkey! (shows the rope as a monkey)
  • Monkey: Ohh, ohh!
  • Flying Dutchman: This one here's a loop knot, otherwise known as the 'poop loop'. (pulls the rope)
  • Rope: Poooop!
  • Spongebob: (laughs) Those are great, Mr Flying Dutchman, sir! Now can you show me how to tie my shoes?
  • Flying Dutchman: (laughs) I don't know how to tie me shoes. I haven't worn shoes for over 5,000 years! (holds a sock with two blue stripes up) But sometimes I like to wear this little sock over me ghostly tail. (laughs as he flies off. Scene cuts to Spongebob crawling into his pineapple)

jayfrosting:

Jay Frosting suffers through Us Weekly so you don’t have to. Cover story: Baby Weight Battles w/ Kim Kardashian and Duchess Kate Middleton