Praise Me
I sat in an uncomfortable wooden chair for over five hours today in a certain coffee shop. After about an hour I realized I could probably deal with anything. After an hour and two minutes I started plotting against the manufacturers of uncomfortable wooden coffee shop chairs.
Needless to say I’m just going to bring my own office rolling chair to Starbucks.
I will roll it to the counter to order chai lattes. I will roll it to the bar to pick up chai lattes. I will roll it over that fucking woman who sits next to the god damn door smoking a cigar everyday.
I will be greeted as a liberator. Lungs everywhere will praise me. Jake, destroyer of uncomfortable wooden coffee shop chairs. Jake, destroyer of that god damn near-the-fucking-door cigar-smoking woman.
